I’m on a bit of a search right now – as this project shows. I’m trying to find out who I am and what I believe. And how to show that in the real world. Not just be able to spout my beliefs, but truly live them.
I’ve become aware of how much thought patterns can rule our lives – or at least mine. I’m good at this, I’m bad at that, I suck at this other thing…. And I am starting to believe that these thought patterns can limit us.
Recently, I decided to teach myself crocheting. As I started, I chose short projects – ones I could finish relatively quickly. This is because I’ve always considered myself a short project person. And this is a belief that I’ve repeated often – both in fact and in words. And this is one reason I’ve chosen, for example, not to take on any more weddings. They are long projects that take a long time. And I find I lose focus on them, I don’t give them the attention they deserve.
But taking up crochet has caused me to look again at this thought pattern, this idea that anything taking longer than a few short hours was beyond me. It’s something I’ve wanted to change in the past. So rather than automatically discounting any project that looked complicated, I’ve started to consider them. This project that I’m working on is a pair of socks. And this oddly colored yarn is reflecting how things are changing within me. I’m tossing out these new thoughts and I find myself falling back into the old patterns, but still trying to change them. And then… they show up, these new thought patterns.
They start to weave themselves in and suddenly, everything is changing. Not only am I starting a long project, but I’m excited about it! I no longer dread the thought of working on a project for a few weeks, I actually relish the idea.
I’m only seeing this thought pattern change for me in crocheting, but who knows where it will lead! Small thought pattern changes could lead to much larger changes through out my entire life.
I just know I’m open to it now where before… well, I was only a short project person.